How to Have Difficult Conversations with Your Aging Loved Ones
Nobody wants to think about their own death or their loved ones dying. Broaching the topic is uncomfortable for most of us. Preparing for different scenarios is a necessary part of the aging process, and helping those we care for is one of the best things we can do.
Here are some tips for starting the conversation:
1. Start by asking if they have a living will or other important legal documents in place already. If not, encourage them to do so.
2. Make sure you remind them their future is ultimately in their control and the decisions are theirs to make. Let them know you are there to help and be a resource for them.
3. Suggest a third party or financial advisor assist with assets, trusts, investments etc. A non-family member helps with neutrality and might take some of the weight and emotion out of these choices.
4. Let them know the reason why you are bringing up their future; you want them to be comfortable and respect their wishes in case they are not able to speak for themselves. Advance directives, a living will or durable power of attorney for health care are all legal documents allowing them to detail their decisions about care ahead of time.
If or when they are receptive to getting organized, refer to this list as a starting point of what you/they might need:
- Insurance policies
- Will or trust
- Durable power of attorney documents
- Medical directives
- Bond or stock certificates
- Safety deposit key
- Property deeds
- Car titles
- Pension information
- Contact information for financial advisor/others involved
If you are a caregiver or have an aging loved one in your life, the thought of this conversation might be altogether overwhelming. It’s important to have connections to the right resources to learn and understand everything. PACE programs offer an experienced social worker who helps seniors connect to the right resources. Learn about the wide range of services offered here: https://www.trinityhealthpace.org/our-services/
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